Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Chapter 38: Limitless

First of all I want to start by saying a few things. I just want to say thank you to everyone who read my blog last week, I had a massive response to the 'No Makeup Selfie' campaign that has been circulating and it was really great to hear everyone's opinion on the matter. However, I can't stress enough about the negative comments people are passing. There is just not room for it. I read an article earlier about the zero correlation between no makeup selfie's and women with cancer; they're right, there isn't. However, the person in question implied the campaign is emphasising that a woman wearing no makeup is the same pain as a woman with cancer. This is outrageous to me as this clearly isn't what the campaign is implying. Might I also add that the person forgot to mention about 'Movember', where men grow moustaches in the month of November to raise awareness for men who suffer from prostate cancer and other male related cancers. Can I just add that some men with cancer can't even grow any hair after going through chemotherapy and radiotherapy, so you could say there is no correlation between the two of them either? They are both great campaigns that raise awareness and money, might everyone simply get over this, stop veering away from the point and see the good it is bringing? You can read the article I am talking about here.
It's great to see that more and more people are doing their bit for charities, both small and large. My sisters and I have been looking at Macmillan charity events to take part in in the summer as this charity is very close to our hearts.
Another thing I want to say is I hope you all had a lovely Mother's Day last Sunday. I see there are a few new Mummies on my Facebook and I just want to say a massive congratulations to you all! Mother's day was extremely hard on my family and I as it was also my Mammy's Birthday, she would have been 63. It's days like last Sunday that not only remind you of what amazing Mother's you have, but it also opens your eyes to the amount of people who don't have a Mother. One thing I'm certain of, she wasn't far away from us and we all raised a glass to her and remembered all the love, support and laughter she brought to our lives. She really was and still is one in a billion xxx.

The theme of my blog this week is about your own limitations. How much must we push ourselves in order to get complete happiness and satisfaction? Is it until we have the dream body we have always wanted? The dream job? The dream man/woman? How much pressure are we going to put on ourselves until we say, "yep, that'll do." We all do it. Constantly pushing ourselves to do things we have always wanted. I know I put myself under a lot of pressure and I'm quite hard on myself. I've been like this since no age. In school I would push myself to do my homework on time and to revise thoroughly until I got the grades I wanted. If I didn't get the grade I wanted, I'd retake it. If I made a mistake on a written essay I wouldn't use tippex to correct it. I would rip it up and start from the beginning (call that OCD if you want, 'cause you're probably right). The reason for this is because one time in Year 7, I forgot to put a piece of homework to complete in my homework diary. My friend from Ireland came over to visit and I was really excited to see her, so I genuinely forgot. When I came to class the next day Miss. Thomas (that's right I've just named and shamed the bitch) made me stand up in front of the whole class, brought me to the front of the room and shouted at me, "WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE YOUR HOMEWORK?!" My excuse was, "I'm sorry Miss, I forgot." - original I know. She didn't buy it. When I apologised profusely and said I would do it and bring it in tomorrow, this wasn't good enough. She wanted me to feel guilty and basically, mentally punished me. She obviously thought I was a rebel or sorts, but she didn't know me very well clearly. From that day on, I NEVER missed a piece of homework. This resulted in me being called a geek, ha! I didn't care though, I'm not the type of person who could walk into an exam and not need to pick up a book. I need to pick up that book and read some of the pages twice over for it to even register - I'm a faux geek. 

My goal at the moment? I want abs. End of. So why isn't it simple? Last week I went for my fourth run in four days, but this time my sister wasn't accompanying me, so the pressure was on. Usually if I have someone with me I keep a good pace. This time I had downloaded some good running TOONS and I was good to go. I started off running down my road and the cold air was hitting my lungs hard. I got to the bottom of the road and as I ran across, a drunk man puking his guts up suddenly came in my vision (it was dark). I almost stopped to ask if he was okay, but he was blates drunk and what the heck could I do, really?! So I carried on. I must have been going faster than usual because when I stopped I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it home. I fell extremely ill and why? Because I pushed myself too hard (and by the looks of the drunken man, so did he). I think I pushed myself passed my limit. Safe to say I had a break for the rest of the week. I went for a run last night to the EXACT same point where I stopped and fell sick and I honestly could have carried on. Have I gone past my limit? Can I run a marathon now?! No. But I can do better!

When I'm not trying to get abs (haha), I'm thinking about what my next move is. The next move for me begins 2015 when I go travelling. After that I will think about my next move and then maybe after that I will actually try and get a career under my belt?! Not sure what that will be as I'm not sure what I love enough to want to make a career out of it? I've been putting myself under pressure for the past couple of years because I feel like I'm stuck in a bubble. Everyone else is growing up, they have a career, a marriage, children. The truth is, I don't want that yet. I do one day, but not yet. I'm 26... and what the hell am I doing? I'm taking things a baby step at a time, that's what.

Do you put yourself under pressure and if so, what for? Is it for yourself or anyone else? Is it to say to others, "Well, I've done this, this and this." Or is it to tick off your own personal Bucket List? Are you pushing yourself for yourself, or because other people expect something of you? I can honestly say it's easily to be influenced by both and that's fine. Look at Bradley Cooper in the film, Limitless (2011).

A film about an out of work writer and a dead beat according to his newly ex-girlfriend, Eddie (Bradley Cooper), is introduced to pills that enhance his personal performance in every way. His brain can absorb literally everything he reads and watches. His efforts don't go unnoticed by his ex and there literally are no limits to his abilities. However, his ex isn't the only person to notice his efforts and things start to go drastically downhill when the guys behind the drug come after him.
I think anyone who has a pulse would try out these pills, even if they don't condone drugs. After all, wouldn't you want to read a book in 10 minutes, or be able to go to Japan and speak the language fluently? Truth is we can do all of the above, but it all takes time. Time we all have, but we don't THINK we have or just don't have the patience for. For example, "I want to go for a run tonight, but I've got to cook the dinner, do a few loads of washing." Excuses after excuses. Yes we all have limits, but how do we know what they are unless we try? We need to make time for ourselves... it's okay to be a bit selfish every now and then.

Hope you all enjoyed this weeks blog and again, please let me know your thoughts at the usual places on the back of here is you have a Google account, Facebook or Twitter.

Have a great week guys! Here's my song I can't listen to on a run now because I felt sick after: Martin Garrix - Wizard

Big love.
T. x

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