Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Chapter 43: Why Are We So hung Up On Ourselves?

We all have them. You know... insecurities. The question is, why do we have them? Are magazines to blame? Maybe Actors on the Silver Screen, or maybe your friend's abs of steal? It doesn't matter who you are, I don't believe for a second that one person can be so confident and happy with their appearance completely. You could have the best body ever seen to the naked eye, but still be self conscious of your teeth, so you choose not to EVER have an open smile on your Instagram pictures. Now, you see what I just did there? It's comments like the one I just made that makes you have the hang ups you do! Women in particular have a hawk eye for stuff like this, which in turn, DOESN'T help.

Myself? I have hang ups about a lot of things One in particular being my hips. Oh! And the fact the my arse seems to have disappeared over time. It would seem that whatever used to be there, has now just travelled upwards, AKA, my hips and tits. Some of you may think I'm being silly, some of you may agree. Regardless, it's just how I feel in myself. Of course, seeing pictures of people looking what I would deem as "perfect" doesn't help. Celebrities like Blake Lively and Gisele Bundchen with their long legs, perky bums, flawless skin, long locks. Oh wait, did I mention I have a thing about my short legs as well???

In a perfect world... we would all be perfect. But, isn't that just extremely fucking boring? Why do we all have these hang ups? I would say a MASSIVE part of it is to do with attracting the opposite sex. Now as a lot of you know, I am ginger. I know right? SHOCKING! When I hear builders shouting, "Oi, ginge!" in the street I feel like turning around and going, "WHAT?! YOU'RE FUCKING SHITTING ME?! I'M GINGER?! I NEVER KNEW?!!!" But that would be the fiery temper coming out of me, and I wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction of reacting to their poor attempts to get my attention. The point I'm trying to make is, I'm not every one's cup of tea. I'm ginger, I'm opinionated, I have a temper, I have short legs and a long body, I have crooked teeth (the list goes on). Yeah okay, me pointing out my flaws isn't attractive to men. You know what though? I don't give a shit. However, someone out there might actually LIKE all of those things about me. Even more weird, someone out there might actually look for these things in a significant other?! Ginger? Check. Short? Check. Crooked teeth? Check.

For men, I know a few who look at actors like Hugh Jackman and Tom Hardy and their workout routines for when they bulk up for their films. Some men follow rigorous workouts and see results instantly, for others it may take some time. I have a news flash for you all though: THEY HAVE PERSONAL TRAINERS! And when you're talking to a girl after they have asked, "What are you up to?" And saying, "I'm just about to head to the gym."... This is NOT a turn on - sorry. Some women really don't go for it. It may work with SOME, but let me tell you all, it's a very small percentage. Like men who are into different things, so are women. E.g. I have a thing for good manly hands (weird I know) and a good leg. Jamie Dornan's legs for example, are the best legs I've ever seen on a man. Granted, the rest of his body and face are also pretty amazing, but his legs are by far his best feature:

I rest my case.

Before I go on a holiday where it requires I wear a bikini (heaven forbid), I usually cut back on carby foods that I know will bloat me and make me feel like a whale. Now, I know I'm not a "whale" per se, but I would feel like one. A lot of our hang ups are based on how we "feel".

So... now you're on holiday. You've put on your best beachwear and you're ready to hit the pool. You have your shades on. Now, it's no good telling off your man for wearing his shades and looking at other women's bodies, ladies. You know why? Because you KNOW you are doing it yourselves and you know how I know hang ups are based on how you feel? Because you are looking at that woman next to you who is about 5 stone heavier than you with her tits out and thinking "what the?" But you know what the most IRONIC thing is? You're now envying how confident that woman is. It doesn't matter if she isn't your idea of the "perfect" body, in your mind you're now thinking, "why can't I be that confident?" Major toughy guys. I know I'm talking like I have the answer to that, but I really don't!

Overtime I have gradually become more confident, I'm quite a shy person usually (if any of my friends are reading this and laughing, shut up). I do think confidence is key though. It doesn't matter if you THINK you don't look right, Gok has a point when he says, "It's all about the confidence!" The thing is, how do we go about getting us some of that? The only thing I can think of is waking up to a clean slate. You either like it or you don't and if you don't, do something about it! Confidence doesn't just come to you out of nowhere; it takes time to build. So whether that be you losing a few pounds, dying your hair, sorting your teeth out, then do it. But if you accept that you are the way you are and no one or nothing can change that, I would say that's an even better start.

Everyone is different! Embrace it! But let me just leave you with this... even Beyonce has hang ups. When asked on ITV's "A Night With Beyonce", if she had any body insecurities, she was quick to point out that we should all love ourselves and that she loved her body but of course, she has body hang ups. She didn't want to discuss it in too much detail because she said we would then all notice (point taken). But one of them was her earlobes. I'm not being funny, no one will look at her earlobes when she looks like this:

Personally I think we should all have Tim's outlook...

Hehe! Hope you all had a great Bank Holiday peeps! I know I did with my family! We went to Devon for the weekend on our first family holiday in 10 years. It was so much fun! Although there was a big piece missing from the weekend and the holiday was bittersweet, I know she was there with us every step of the way xxx.

Again, I want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has donated for mine and my Sisters Race for Life in July. We have reached 90% of our target and we are so grateful to you all. All of this is helping towards finding a cure for this horrible disease that affects so many people.We are running for our brave Mammy and all the other brave fighters out there xxx.

Big love,
T. x

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