Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Chapter 46: Chivalry is Dead

As you all know, I'm a 26 year old woman. Now, I have grown up in a time where technology is the main basis for starting up a relationship. It used to be, "Where do you live? I'll pick you up and we can go out some time?" However, if someone said that to you these days you'd be like, "Eww, stalker alert!" Then it's developed to, "What's your house number, I'll call you." Now it goes like, "Hey, what's your full name? I'll add you on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram." If the guy likes the look of you judging by your awful drunken pictures on either of these social networking sites, he MAY ask you for your phone number so he can Whatsapp you. "Give me your number, I'll Whatsapp you." The wonderful and yet haunting words you almost wish you never heard. If you thought Facebook was bad when you sent an inbox and it stated "Seen at 13:38" and you're looking at your clock that says 13:59 - just cut all ties there. You don't want to feel like a fucking stalker, 'cause that shit just ain't healthy for ANYONE. Text messages are just so hard to read as well! I once had a lecture on how easy it is to misread a text message... a whole fucking hours worth of a lecture. If they are now bringing this into the curriculum for Universities, you KNOW shit has gone wrong over the years.

It's terrible that we are made to feel this way because of technology. Not only this, but chivalry has dwindled because if men haven't asked us out already, women feel like they need to because:
  1. It makes us look confident.
  2. We don't want to waste any more time.
  3. Men can be pussies - no woman wants another one of these in her life.
In my opinion though, if the man doesn't do either of the below, he's just not interested:
  1. Ask for your number.
  2. Once he's got your number, actually contact you.
  3. Ask you the fuck out.
Call me old fashioned ladies, but I feel even in the 21st Century that if a man doesn't ask you out, he's just not interested full stop. What ever happened to courting a girl? Seeing someone, asking them if they want a drink, asking them out, coming to their door to pick them up, dropping them at their door at the end of the night, opening the door for them, oh and not expecting to do anything with someone you have JUST met on a first date! What happened to writing a woman a romantic letter? A woman can treasure these forever and show them to their future children and grandchildren, conveying examples of how romance never dies, without the fear of deleting them! "Hey kids, you know your Father used to write me beautiful messages... He was a real romancer!" "Really? Can we see?" "I'm sorry, they're on my old Nokia 3310 which I gave to Envirophone back in 2003."

So, in order for men to be chivalrous, they really need to know what chivalry is, because I think it's definition has become blurred over time. The Oxford Dictionary defines it as:
"Courteous behaviour, especially that of a man towards a woman. 'He still retained a sense of chivalry towards women.'"
When researching this more, the "Thought Catalog" provides 23 examples of ways that men can retain chivalry towards women in this modern age. Click here to have a read!

Women have grown so pessimistic of men these days, because they don't expect much from them. My Mammy always said, "You will NEVER meet a decent bloke on a night out." She's right! Although some women are the exception for this... men on a night out, more often than none are only after a cheeky kiss (or whatever). Not like it was back in the day when you would meet at a disco and ask for an orange Fanta rather than a Stella. But then again, it's very hard to find a decent man... well... anywhere these days! Let alone on a night out. I remember when I was about 9 and I answered the phone to my now Brother-In-Law asking to speak to my Sister on the phone. Now ringing up a house that is occupied by mainly women and one man asking to speak to a girl you like... That takes balls! Would that happen today? No. No it wouldn't.

Not only this, but women have developed an attitude by where we say we don't NEED a man... with Power Women like Beyonce singing the likes of, "If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it" - even though she is married to one of the most successful men in Hip Hop - we convince ourselves that we don't need any of that soppy stuff in our lives. Especially when we see eCards like this on Instagram:

............ I haven't liked or posted ANY of these at all, I swear!!

So you see the thing is guys, it's VERY easy for us to be bitter about the way you treat us, because you simply need to get back to your roots! Think about what I said above... Make the first move, open a door every once in a while... But you know what? It's nothing personal. Us women don't blame you per se. We blame the development of mobile phones and Mark Zuckerberg. And no, I'm not saying every time you meet a girl that it needs to be like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook (although that would be perfection), just wise up a bit. Think outside of the box and surprise a woman every once in a while... We don't ask for much. Just some chivalry and a bit of spontaneity. Trust me, you will be praised for it in the long run!

What do you think of the subject this week? Women, do you agree or disagree? Men, I know what your answers will be, but I'd still love to hear from you! Contact me on the back of here, Facebook or Twitter (@triciabaxter).

I will leave you with some Outkast - Ms. Jackson, 'cause it's sorta of fitting and well, it's a tune!
Until next week people! Thanks for stopping by...

Much love,


  1. Random comment- but I do enjoy these blogs! very well written and always interesting subjects

  2. Thanks guys! And cheers Michael :)