Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Chapter 46: Chivalry is Dead

As you all know, I'm a 26 year old woman. Now, I have grown up in a time where technology is the main basis for starting up a relationship. It used to be, "Where do you live? I'll pick you up and we can go out some time?" However, if someone said that to you these days you'd be like, "Eww, stalker alert!" Then it's developed to, "What's your house number, I'll call you." Now it goes like, "Hey, what's your full name? I'll add you on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram." If the guy likes the look of you judging by your awful drunken pictures on either of these social networking sites, he MAY ask you for your phone number so he can Whatsapp you. "Give me your number, I'll Whatsapp you." The wonderful and yet haunting words you almost wish you never heard. If you thought Facebook was bad when you sent an inbox and it stated "Seen at 13:38" and you're looking at your clock that says 13:59 - just cut all ties there. You don't want to feel like a fucking stalker, 'cause that shit just ain't healthy for ANYONE. Text messages are just so hard to read as well! I once had a lecture on how easy it is to misread a text message... a whole fucking hours worth of a lecture. If they are now bringing this into the curriculum for Universities, you KNOW shit has gone wrong over the years.

It's terrible that we are made to feel this way because of technology. Not only this, but chivalry has dwindled because if men haven't asked us out already, women feel like they need to because:
  1. It makes us look confident.
  2. We don't want to waste any more time.
  3. Men can be pussies - no woman wants another one of these in her life.
In my opinion though, if the man doesn't do either of the below, he's just not interested:
  1. Ask for your number.
  2. Once he's got your number, actually contact you.
  3. Ask you the fuck out.
Call me old fashioned ladies, but I feel even in the 21st Century that if a man doesn't ask you out, he's just not interested full stop. What ever happened to courting a girl? Seeing someone, asking them if they want a drink, asking them out, coming to their door to pick them up, dropping them at their door at the end of the night, opening the door for them, oh and not expecting to do anything with someone you have JUST met on a first date! What happened to writing a woman a romantic letter? A woman can treasure these forever and show them to their future children and grandchildren, conveying examples of how romance never dies, without the fear of deleting them! "Hey kids, you know your Father used to write me beautiful messages... He was a real romancer!" "Really? Can we see?" "I'm sorry, they're on my old Nokia 3310 which I gave to Envirophone back in 2003."

So, in order for men to be chivalrous, they really need to know what chivalry is, because I think it's definition has become blurred over time. The Oxford Dictionary defines it as:
"Courteous behaviour, especially that of a man towards a woman. 'He still retained a sense of chivalry towards women.'"
When researching this more, the "Thought Catalog" provides 23 examples of ways that men can retain chivalry towards women in this modern age. Click here to have a read!

Women have grown so pessimistic of men these days, because they don't expect much from them. My Mammy always said, "You will NEVER meet a decent bloke on a night out." She's right! Although some women are the exception for this... men on a night out, more often than none are only after a cheeky kiss (or whatever). Not like it was back in the day when you would meet at a disco and ask for an orange Fanta rather than a Stella. But then again, it's very hard to find a decent man... well... anywhere these days! Let alone on a night out. I remember when I was about 9 and I answered the phone to my now Brother-In-Law asking to speak to my Sister on the phone. Now ringing up a house that is occupied by mainly women and one man asking to speak to a girl you like... That takes balls! Would that happen today? No. No it wouldn't.

Not only this, but women have developed an attitude by where we say we don't NEED a man... with Power Women like Beyonce singing the likes of, "If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it" - even though she is married to one of the most successful men in Hip Hop - we convince ourselves that we don't need any of that soppy stuff in our lives. Especially when we see eCards like this on Instagram:

............ I haven't liked or posted ANY of these at all, I swear!!

So you see the thing is guys, it's VERY easy for us to be bitter about the way you treat us, because you simply need to get back to your roots! Think about what I said above... Make the first move, open a door every once in a while... But you know what? It's nothing personal. Us women don't blame you per se. We blame the development of mobile phones and Mark Zuckerberg. And no, I'm not saying every time you meet a girl that it needs to be like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook (although that would be perfection), just wise up a bit. Think outside of the box and surprise a woman every once in a while... We don't ask for much. Just some chivalry and a bit of spontaneity. Trust me, you will be praised for it in the long run!

What do you think of the subject this week? Women, do you agree or disagree? Men, I know what your answers will be, but I'd still love to hear from you! Contact me on the back of here, Facebook or Twitter (@triciabaxter).

I will leave you with some Outkast - Ms. Jackson, 'cause it's sorta of fitting and well, it's a tune!
Until next week people! Thanks for stopping by...

Much love,

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Chapter 45: We Are Family - THAT Solange & Jay-Z Bust Up

I'm sure you're all still wondering about why Solange and Jay-Z had that massive bust up in the elevator at the Met Gala a few weeks back? Or maybe you're like me and you're thinking, "get over it". We all know that families fight and have disagreements from time to time - that's just how the cookie crumbles (I'm sure that's from a film). Obviously the reason why people are talking about it so much is because, well, it's Beyonce and Jay-Z!

An official statement was released this week on the incident and this is what they had to say:

"As a result of the public release of the elevator security footage from Monday, May 5th, there has been a great deal of speculation about what triggered the unfortunate incident. But the most important thing is that our family has worked through it. Jay and Solange each assume their share of responsibility for what has occurred. They both acknowledge their role in this private matter that has played out in public. They both have apologized to each other and have moved forward as a united family. The reports of Solange being intoxicated or displaying erratic behaviour throughout that evening are simply false. At the end of the day families have their problems and we're no different. We love each other and above all we are family. We've put this behind us and hope everyone else will do the same."

This statement signifies that this is normal behaviour in family life... Although the footage was pretty shocking to me. What I didn't like about it, is how Beyonce didn't seem to do ANYTHING about the fact Solange and her Husband were fighting, and most importantly, didn't seem to be supporting her Sister until the very end when she tried to calm them both down (after about 15 minutes). In my opinion, Jay-Z OBVIOUSLY said something to piss Solange off and regardless of the state of her, whether she was intoxicated or not, Beyonce seemed to be a mere bystander throughout the whole situation. But again, this is just my opinion and again, I don't know what went on. So it is easy for me to judge it how I see it. There was no audio throughout the footage and I can easily call it how I see it, but the thing is, regardless of their status in society, how famous they are, how much money they have, they are people. They are a family and they have their arguments and opinions JUST like you and your family.

We could argue about this fight until we are blue in the face! Blood is thicker than water, the fight was between Solange and Jay-Z, it was an invasion of their privacy, rar-de-rar-da. I agree with all of the above. It is a shame that the fight was shown on CCTV and their privacy was invaded in this way, but you could argue that:

  1. Jay-Z and Solange should have known better and waited until they were in their own homes to have this dispute.
  2. The person who revealed this tape should have respected their privacy.
  3. They have a right to their fans to explain what actually happened
Radio 1 Xtra DJ, Trevor Nelson Tweeted this after the fight occurred between the pair:

Thank God! I thought I wasn't the only person who thought Beyonce made an even bigger show of herself by NOT doing anything. I then  listened to Radio 1 Newsbeat on Friday after the Official Statement was released, where Trevor spoke further about the matter:

"They're not a normal family. They're like, you know you have Barack Obama and Michelle Obama, First Lady and President of The United States. Well... off the Streets and off the Music scene, The President is Jay-Z and The First Lady is Beyonce and that's how we see it, that's why people are talking about it. They're the biggest couple in Show Business, bigger than Angelina and Brad and their Brand is important and it is our business unfortunately. If you make your money the way they make their money, it's kind of, our business!"

He has a point! When Beyonce and Jay-Z pride themselves on being such a big brand and make no qualms about how much they love the limelight (take Beyonce's Instagram page for example), when something this big happens, I think as their followers, we kind of DO have a right to know what has happened. I'm glad they have spoke out about it finally, even though they still haven't revealed what actually happened. The talks about this fight will follow them for the rest of their lives unfortunately, because they are in the spotlight 24/7. But you readers know as well as I do, fights between families are normal and a lot of the time we get over it within seconds. I know I have had many an argument with my Sister's over stealing clothes and on drunken nights out, but in my opinion, if you don't argue, you're not normal! The same goes for relationships with your partner. I find it super odd when someone says, "Oh I NEVER argue with my boyfriend/girlfriend." My initial thought is, "You're weird."

While we are on the subject of Bey and Jay, it is only right I show you their new promo video called, "Run", for their World Tour, "On The Run"... It's all kinds of OTT with big Hollywood A-List Actors starring alongside the pair, such as Sean Penn and Jake Gyllenhaal (ooft). Check it out here. Who knows? Maybe this fight has boosted their sales even more for the tour? Maybe it doesn't? Maybe this was an extra little promo for their tour? We will NEVER know. All I can say is, if you you were a boy, Bey, you'd be shit at fighting.
ARGUING IS NORMAL IN FAMILIES! Except next time you do argue, make sure no one is videoing you ;). Let me know your feedback in the regular places on the back of here, Facebook or tweet me @triciabaxter. Should they explain themselves properly, or should they continue to hide what actually happen and move on like the rest of us do in normal every day-to-day life? Should the have to explain themselves because of their status in society? I'd love to know your views!

I won't put the footage in, as I'm sure a lot of you have seen it already. But I will leave you with these meme's:

I'm sorry... it had to be done!

Before I go, I would just like to again, thank EVERYONE who has donated to mine and my Sister's Race for Life Page at www.justgiving.com/jennys-girls. We have gone over out target of £1000 with the page and donations via our sponsor sheets. We are so thrilled and feel so much support from all of you! Someone even donated £41.77 to bump our online page up to £1000 and I just want to say a massive THANKS on behalf of me and my Sister's. Would love to know who you are if you're reading this! Mammy will be just as delighted as we are. Unfortunately, Stephen Sutton passed away last week from the same type of Cancer our Mammy had. He was such an inspiration to us all and said, "I don't see the point in measuring life in terms of time anymore. I'd rather measure life in terms of making a difference." He is so right and everyone should take on this mantra in life. Mammy and Stephen both put up a massive fight and they are both at peace now <3. This race is for our beautiful Mammy, Stephen and all the courageous fighters out there!

'Til next week everyone, thanks for reading.
Big love,
T. x

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Chapter 44: Bridesmaids

Ladies, ladies... to be a Bridesmaid. Such a wonderful privilege and a great time for sisterhood, bonding and many laughs. If you haven't been a Bridesmaid before, you will one day. Next year, I will be my Sister's Bridesmaid. This will be my second time, as I was bridesmaid to my oldest Sister 7 years ago. Back then I didn't really have a clue about all of the hard work and efforts that go into a wedding. The dress, the colour scheme, the location, the hen do... but it really was one of the best times of my life, let alone the Bride's! I loved every minute of it and I can't wait to do it all over again! I like to think that this time round I have more of a clue about everything that goes into a wedding and I can't wait to celebrate Esther & Adam's special day! :).

However, not all bridesmaids share the same notion as myself. Oh no. If ever there was a better example to go by... just watch the film, Bridesmaids (2011). Starring Kristen Wiig, her character, Annie Walker, is bridesmaid to her best friend Lillian's (Maya Rudolf) wedding. She is one of many bridesmaids and faces stiff competition when Lillian's new friend Helen (Rose Byrne) comes on the scene. The woman can do NO wrong and it seems that Annie can't put a foot right. Nothing she suggests is good enough for any of the other bridesmaids. Things take a a terrible turn when Annie's true feelings come out and she's not so sure hers and Lillian's friendship will last long after. Will she be Maid of Honor, or will Helen make sure she's history?

I don't know why I am making that synopsis a mystery for you, as I don't know one woman that hasn't seen this film. It has to be one of the most funniest films going. Maybe I'm bigging it up too much because I love Kristen Wiig, but... you HAVE to see it if you haven't. ESPECIALLY if you are a Bride/Bridesmaid to be. The woman second from the left in the picture above, Wendi McLenden-Covey who stars as Rita, is by far my favourite bridesmaid of the bunch. The Stay-at-Home Mother living in a house full of men who is DYING to let loose and relive her youth by drinking, doing drugs and being an all around whore face - this woman is guaranteed to make you laugh! The brilliant thing about this film is that each and every one of these Bridesmaids represents a Bridesmaid or a woman on a hen do you have known. The Fireball, The Stay-at-Home Mom, The Maid of Honor, The Perfectionist, The Shy One and who could forget, The Bridezilla. I hate that term. People say "Bridezilla" like it's a bad thing. I'm not being funny, but if a man were to organise a wedding they would be called a "Dooms Groom" - IT AIN'T AN EASY THING TO DO PEOPLE! I'm talking like I've been married (I haven't), but I KNOW I'm gonna be a major stress head. I stress about what socks to put on let alone what type of dress I'd wanna wear! I'm pretty sure that after a while, I'd end up like this:

I can't deal with the pressure people! Ha!

Like I say, there are many pro's and con's...

  1. You get to wear a beautiful dress.
  2. You get to go on an epic night out to celebrate (the hen do).
  3. You get to share all of the feelings and emotions the Bride is going through.
  4. Teamwork!
  5. Hair trials.
  6. Make-up trials.
  7. Choosing the flowers.
  8. Dress fittings.
  9. Meeting new people.
  1. If you upset the Bride - you don't want to do this.
  2. Trying not to fuck up the arrangements, e.g. the hen do.
  3. Trying to make sure everyone co-operates and stays on schedule.
  4. Not having a date on the big day (very American thing to do, me personally, I couldn't give a shit).
  5. Ending up drunk on the plane to the hen do and getting kicked off at the next stop because you're a Coach passenger trying to get in First Class and you convince all of the passengers that there is a Colonial woman on the wing of the plane.

All you ladies out there who are a fellow Bridesmaid like me, I'd love to know your thoughts. Have you been one before? Is it your first time? Please don't hesitate to share your experiences. Just contact on the back of here, Facebook or tweet me @triciabaxter.

This has been a fun one to write this week, peeps! So on that note, I will leave you with Annie and Helen's beautiful speech at Lillian's engagement party - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G33pDYaaG4M.

Oh! I gotta leave you with a bit of Wilson Phillips - Hold On.

Big love.

Chapter 43: Why Are We So hung Up On Ourselves?

We all have them. You know... insecurities. The question is, why do we have them? Are magazines to blame? Maybe Actors on the Silver Screen, or maybe your friend's abs of steal? It doesn't matter who you are, I don't believe for a second that one person can be so confident and happy with their appearance completely. You could have the best body ever seen to the naked eye, but still be self conscious of your teeth, so you choose not to EVER have an open smile on your Instagram pictures. Now, you see what I just did there? It's comments like the one I just made that makes you have the hang ups you do! Women in particular have a hawk eye for stuff like this, which in turn, DOESN'T help.

Myself? I have hang ups about a lot of things One in particular being my hips. Oh! And the fact the my arse seems to have disappeared over time. It would seem that whatever used to be there, has now just travelled upwards, AKA, my hips and tits. Some of you may think I'm being silly, some of you may agree. Regardless, it's just how I feel in myself. Of course, seeing pictures of people looking what I would deem as "perfect" doesn't help. Celebrities like Blake Lively and Gisele Bundchen with their long legs, perky bums, flawless skin, long locks. Oh wait, did I mention I have a thing about my short legs as well???

In a perfect world... we would all be perfect. But, isn't that just extremely fucking boring? Why do we all have these hang ups? I would say a MASSIVE part of it is to do with attracting the opposite sex. Now as a lot of you know, I am ginger. I know right? SHOCKING! When I hear builders shouting, "Oi, ginge!" in the street I feel like turning around and going, "WHAT?! YOU'RE FUCKING SHITTING ME?! I'M GINGER?! I NEVER KNEW?!!!" But that would be the fiery temper coming out of me, and I wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction of reacting to their poor attempts to get my attention. The point I'm trying to make is, I'm not every one's cup of tea. I'm ginger, I'm opinionated, I have a temper, I have short legs and a long body, I have crooked teeth (the list goes on). Yeah okay, me pointing out my flaws isn't attractive to men. You know what though? I don't give a shit. However, someone out there might actually LIKE all of those things about me. Even more weird, someone out there might actually look for these things in a significant other?! Ginger? Check. Short? Check. Crooked teeth? Check.

For men, I know a few who look at actors like Hugh Jackman and Tom Hardy and their workout routines for when they bulk up for their films. Some men follow rigorous workouts and see results instantly, for others it may take some time. I have a news flash for you all though: THEY HAVE PERSONAL TRAINERS! And when you're talking to a girl after they have asked, "What are you up to?" And saying, "I'm just about to head to the gym."... This is NOT a turn on - sorry. Some women really don't go for it. It may work with SOME, but let me tell you all, it's a very small percentage. Like men who are into different things, so are women. E.g. I have a thing for good manly hands (weird I know) and a good leg. Jamie Dornan's legs for example, are the best legs I've ever seen on a man. Granted, the rest of his body and face are also pretty amazing, but his legs are by far his best feature:

I rest my case.

Before I go on a holiday where it requires I wear a bikini (heaven forbid), I usually cut back on carby foods that I know will bloat me and make me feel like a whale. Now, I know I'm not a "whale" per se, but I would feel like one. A lot of our hang ups are based on how we "feel".

So... now you're on holiday. You've put on your best beachwear and you're ready to hit the pool. You have your shades on. Now, it's no good telling off your man for wearing his shades and looking at other women's bodies, ladies. You know why? Because you KNOW you are doing it yourselves and you know how I know hang ups are based on how you feel? Because you are looking at that woman next to you who is about 5 stone heavier than you with her tits out and thinking "what the?" But you know what the most IRONIC thing is? You're now envying how confident that woman is. It doesn't matter if she isn't your idea of the "perfect" body, in your mind you're now thinking, "why can't I be that confident?" Major toughy guys. I know I'm talking like I have the answer to that, but I really don't!

Overtime I have gradually become more confident, I'm quite a shy person usually (if any of my friends are reading this and laughing, shut up). I do think confidence is key though. It doesn't matter if you THINK you don't look right, Gok has a point when he says, "It's all about the confidence!" The thing is, how do we go about getting us some of that? The only thing I can think of is waking up to a clean slate. You either like it or you don't and if you don't, do something about it! Confidence doesn't just come to you out of nowhere; it takes time to build. So whether that be you losing a few pounds, dying your hair, sorting your teeth out, then do it. But if you accept that you are the way you are and no one or nothing can change that, I would say that's an even better start.

Everyone is different! Embrace it! But let me just leave you with this... even Beyonce has hang ups. When asked on ITV's "A Night With Beyonce", if she had any body insecurities, she was quick to point out that we should all love ourselves and that she loved her body but of course, she has body hang ups. She didn't want to discuss it in too much detail because she said we would then all notice (point taken). But one of them was her earlobes. I'm not being funny, no one will look at her earlobes when she looks like this:

Personally I think we should all have Tim's outlook...

Hehe! Hope you all had a great Bank Holiday peeps! I know I did with my family! We went to Devon for the weekend on our first family holiday in 10 years. It was so much fun! Although there was a big piece missing from the weekend and the holiday was bittersweet, I know she was there with us every step of the way xxx.

Again, I want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has donated for mine and my Sisters Race for Life in July. We have reached 90% of our target and we are so grateful to you all. All of this is helping towards finding a cure for this horrible disease that affects so many people.We are running for our brave Mammy and all the other brave fighters out there xxx.

Big love,
T. x