Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Chapter 75: "This Is Fifty Shades Of F**ked Up."

Hey hey guys!

So after a month off I am back with a vengeance! Firstly I want to apologise for my absence... I have been ill with glandular fever and bed ridden for three weeks, so quite frankly I didn't have much to report to you all! Other than the fact I have watched an entire six seasons of Mad Men and it was literally the best thing I have watched in ages... Will talk about that next week though! This week I want to talk about what, well, everyone is talking about and that's the bestselling book and now film, 'Fifty Shades Of Grey.' Now... I haven't read the whole of the first book and therefore I haven't read the entire trilogy. To be quite honest, I wasn't sold on going to see the movie when I heard they were making one... That was until I heard Jamie Dornan was starring as Mr. Christian Grey himself (for those of you that know me, Jamie Dornan is my dream man and I'm still waiting on him to return my calls, emails, fan mail, you get the gist...).

'Allo love...

So even though I only read half of the book, I still had an idea of what Christian and Anastasia looked like. I imagine him to be tall, fair, strong and sort of scary in a way. I pictured her to be, well, quite a plain Jane and ironically, none nondescript. Fifty Shades has had a LOT of criticism since it came to light that the franchise would be on the big screen. I think the main issue is that it has such a massive female following whereby we all have a certain image in our minds of how the characters are, what everything looks like in each scene... but isn't this the case for every book we read? Books help us to ignite our imagination, this is the reason why so many people prefer books to films. I'm sure the Twilight Saga got this flack and how many times has Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre been on our screens? You either prefer Colin Firth or Michael Fassbender as Mr. Darcy, right? They both look different, but they both play Mr. Darcy so well for a character who is very much cemented in English Literature... just like Mr. Christian Grey.

I realise this trilogy has had a massive following from women... I'm pretty sure before the books became so well known men were thinking, "Jeeze, what's got into her? She's up for doing it AT LEAST twice a week now..."

We booked advanced tickets to ensure we got a seat last weekend (as I'm sure a lot of ladies did) and as you can imagine, the cinema was filled with vagina with exception of the odd penis, AKA, the partners of women who dragged them there beyond their control and more than likely:

  1. Threatened them with no sex if they didn't go.
  2. The blokes went for tips.
My sister was one of the women that took her fella there, but it wasn't exactly forced. As soon as Christian introduces Ana to the 'Play room', my sister's partner shouted, "NO WAY EST! THAT'S JUST LIKE OURS!" Granted this got a few giggles from girls surrounding her - she however, wasn't impressed! For those of you who don't know about the 'Play room' part of the book, Christian shows Ana a room that's basically filled with all things bondage and S&M. Here's a few funny meme's I found though:

These did make me chuckle!

My cinema however was full of rowdy women. When the film finished and I went to the toilet, all of a sudden I heard a stampede of women shouting over the cubicl

This isn't a synopsis for those who haven't seen it yet as I don't like to ruin things for anyone, but I will say this, it was definitely better than what critics were making out, so I highly recommend it. Both Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson were equally very good in this. Jamie (a previous model for Calvin Klein) has only recently got into acting and firmly earned his accreditation in the BBC drama The Fall (2013) where he plays a serial killer alongside Gillian Anderson - another must see. Let's just say, when my two friends were asked "David Beckham or Jamie Dornan" after seeing him on
Graham Norton, they were pretty cert on David Beckham. After the movie, they were for Jamie - NATCH. Dakota and her Mother, fellow actress, Melanie Griffiths are actually very similar in the way they convey themselves on screen. I watched Working Girl (1988) not long ago and they are pretty much identical, so I thought Dakota was very good in this role and brought a lot of charisma and humour to Ana's character.

All and all......... GO WATCH PEOPLE! Even you men out there :). 

I'll leave you with Beyonce's - Crazy In Love edition for the movie.

'Til next week.

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